Back in March just as I was diagnosed with breast cancer the Duchess of Cambridge announced she was undergoing cancer treatment. I blogged at the time (read here if you missed it) about how she was pretty much backed into a corner to do so because of the media harassment over her hospitalisation and secrecy over her abdominal surgery.
Six months later and I’m watching her video announcing the end of her chemo treatment which has flooded the news and social media. Bit more popular than my blog about my end of treatment. But then she does have a large family.
To be fair most of the press and comments have been positive and supportive. And then there’s the one who obviously needs the clickbait and decides to play devil’s advocate. And this time it’s the Daily Mail’s Liz Jones with the headline: Kate’s video was so moving but to me feels off and I fear others will see through it.
She said the video was contrived:
“Suddenly and inexplicably, what began as a heartfelt message, a tonic, a relief after all the months of obfuscation, descended into a Boden advert. Or something Marc Jacobs might use to sell scent.
“A real portrayal would show the kids on their phones, surely. Catherine would look tired and pensive, not perfect with conker-coloured hair. It smacks of something Meghan and Harry might come up with: Hallmark, cringy. Not real or from the heart at all.”
To poke snide holes in someone’s celebratory message is what’s “off” Liz.
If they did knock out a video with Kate sitting in bed bald, barfing into a bucket with a horrific skin rash, the kids squabbling over the Xbox, and William stumbling around in a daze in his crumpled boxers, there’d be unease at least, extending to public uproar at the lack of Royal stoicism and sophistication.
Because although this may be the reality of what cancer can be like, not only is it a bit grim but it isn’t really what people want to hear as your paths cross in the condiment aisle of the local supermarket. Also Liz, have you considered that we don’t ever enjoy being a cancer victim. Looking permanently grey and ill. Or indeed, pitied. Especially, I am sure, when you are a royal and in the spotlight.
When people ask how we are feeling, and we respond “I’m fine” it’s because mostly we are. But ‘fine’ is not telling them you spent the last three days hugging the toilet, have painful acid reflux, nausea, exhaustion and insomnia coupled with a mouth like a burnt-out hamster cage.
People want to see the butterfly. Not the disintegrating caterpillar. And we want to be the butterfly. Even if it’s for a brief photo or video shoot. Because real life sometimes really sucks.
That level of journalism Liz should be relegated to the photo stories in Oh Boy. Because it’s just about the drama and the debate. You have to wonder what is wrong with someone who critiques and offers their cynical opinion and advice on how someone going through cancer treatment should talk about their diagnosis, their treatment, or their recovery.
As the saying goes: Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes.
Or as my friend said the other day, when I was telling her about my daughter having a meltdown at me over (in the grand scheme of things) rectifiable issues: “Read the room kid.”
Of course, the article did what it probably intended to do. It garnered readers, probably thousands of new subscribers who have to pay to read this drivel, and had 3,500 people leaving outraged comments.
But it bothers me this unimaginative article makes it to print. Because it is unnecessary. I am not a royalist by any means, but because Katie and I are synchronised with our chemo treatment there’s a kinship and an affinity. Maybe we can become BFFs?
We are practically cancer twins after all.
And her video resonates. Putting the difficulties, side effects and downright crappiness of treatment aside, cancer does give you a renewed sense of perspective. It changes you. And yes it does make you appreciate what’s important. And “loving and being loved” is generally what it boils down to.
But for me, some important points to hopefully come from Kate having cancer are these:
- Do it your way. How dare anyone tell you how to announce your disease, talk about your treatment or celebrate certain milestones along the way. If you are still here to tell the tale, feel free to tell it.
- This disease is indiscriminate. Even if you lead a more privileged life it can come for you. And no amount of money, private health care or expensive top-quality food is going to stop it if it is out to get you.
- Awareness. Kate having cancer has raised the game. I’ve watched how Amy Dowden and other TV stars have brought attention to cancer but maybe, just maybe, if there’s a royal involved she will help advocate for more research, more funding, more support and more help.
For every negative there is always a positive.
two steps freelance 