Welcome back to the cancer blog. Or my ‘blob’, as my mum called it last week on the phone. She can’t say Debenhams either so I missed that shopping experience in my youth. Meanwhile, she struggles with the name Damien, which is what my sister was going to call her firstborn. Until she realised the verbal dyslexia might be a tad challenging so that name went (along with a few other ideas) as we imagined the kid growing up scarred hearing nanna yell: “Daniaaaan….Draniam…Daneeyummm” across the school playground.
Anyway, I digress. Firstly I apologise if my last post was a bit moany. I don’t prepare these. I usually sit down when I have a minute or in the frame of mind to bash it out. So you get what mood I’m in at that given moment I guess – and why not enjoy the emotional rollercoaster with me!
If there’s a lesson in all of this for me personally then it is about patience. Something which I’ve never really excelled at. A very wise friend often tells me “the universe will provide” and that “things will happen in their own good time.” Something I’ve tried hard to embrace over the years in various situations. Sometimes I have learnt the lesson well as a grasshopper should, whilst other times I still have a tendency to sort and organise stuff and channel situations like a hyperactive squirrel preparing for pandemic winter lock down.
But this is something else. With cancer – there is basically no other option but to sit back (or lie back as I’ve done a few times this week) and play the waiting game.
So Time and Patience were the main lessons this week as Chemo Tuesday #2 began with a 9am appointment in Malaga to take my blood for analysis which they will do now every week before treatment. The nurse said I’ll call you around 11am with your chemo time slot. So “don’t rush” she said.
Pah! If I hear a time then that’s what I’m aiming for!
By 10.45 I’d had a very lovely ‘leisurely to me’ breakfast at my newfound favourite café and a brisk stroll around the hospital/university campus (twice) and was ready to return to hospital HQ when she rang and said “come in at 1pm.” Calling at 11am, I now know, does in no way shape or form mean ‘come in’ at 11am.
So, Tuesday is now going to be “me time”. Time to sit under the canopy of trees and watch the world go by, smiling at the blackbirds flicking through the fallen leaves at my feet hunting for bugs (akin to the ‘feed the birds’ lady in Mary Poppins), wistfully clucking at breastfeeding mums in the café (not in a weird way, but nostalgic way) and savouring my avocado and poached egg on toast whilst I can still taste it.
Next week I shall endeavour to pass this time at an even slower pace. And by the end of this godforsaken journey, I shall emerge poised, serene and swan-like, gliding around town and sipping my coffee and smelling the roses, instead of charging through life at the sweaty ruffled roadrunner pace I usually function at.
Anyway, Chemo #2 passed uneventfully this time around and just the three hours – which is fine as I am a patient puppy now and these things do not, will not, shall no longer, annoy me (much).
At this point, I’ll briefly share some medical information about the breast cancer I have which is Stage 3 Triple Negative. About 10-20% of breast cancers are Triple Negative and often found in those under the age of 50, so younger than the 60+ average for other types of breast cancer, and often found in Black and Hispanic women. Around 70% is down to the positive BRCA gene mutation (ie: it’s genetic).
The Triple Negative means it does not feed off three hormones they check for – estrogen, progesterone and HER2 – so there’s no hormone ‘off button’ they can use in therapies, so instead they need the immunotherapy and chemo mix.
Immunotherapy uses the immune system to fight the tumours as the body’s natural immune system does not usually attack the disease as cancer cells produce proteins that outsmart the immune system cells. Clever Cancer!
So it works to interfere with that process to enable the immune system to attack the tumour cells. It is said immunotherapy is like revving your car engine with your foot on the brake and then releasing your foot off the brake. Vrrrroooom.
However although it can strike the tumours it can also attack normal tissues leading to side effects such as inflammation of the liver, lungs, heart and play havoc with your thyroid. Hence why fever, chills, bone and muscle aches are common symptoms.
Some of which I had for a couple of days last week after the first dose. Thankfully the Immunotherapy stuff is only given every 3 weeks so today went smoothly without the urge to pass out and vomit as was the case during Chemo #1 treatment last week.
This was a bonus in my book, except, on my way home I hungrily necked my little bottle of gazpacho whilst driving and then decided to pop into the shopping centre en route. Unbeknownst to me I had somehow splattered some of the orange coloured soup down my black tshirt and jeans which was nicely enhanced by an attractive mouth ring stain to top the look I was so not going for this spring.
Add this to the fact I had left my hospital wristband on, I realised when I got home and looked in the mirror that I must have resembled a deranged hospital escapee who had indeed barfed all over herself.
If only I had taken more patience and time to drink it 😉
two steps freelance 