Lock Down Hell continued (even more)

Much of the same. Day 11-15

Wednesday 25 March 2020 – Day 11ty80flipping2.

Spain Coronavirus cases: 47,600. Deaths: 3,434. Recovered: 5,367

Well that’s the oven cleaned until the next pandemic.

For today’s afternoon activity I may just go berserk and re-arrange my wardrobe. I saw a post from someone saying they were merely swapping between day time and night time pyjamas. I haven’t resorted to that (yet) mainly as I have to go outside quite a lot and I feel the need to differentiate between day and night and work and relax, but what I do have is a pile of clothes on the floor which now constitutes as my ‘running wardrobe’ and I rotate my way through it until certain items make a break for it and crawl off to the washing basket. If I tidy my wardrobe it might feel like I’ve been on a shopping spree.

Kids had a little trot around the block yesterday (separately, with a dog each, to abide by dog walking rules) just to get out beyond the compound.

Poor Balou has slumped into depression. He relishes his long rambles down the river and there’s been a gradual mood shift from initial euphoria at the prospect of having his four humans at home, to a spell of sulks at the realization he’s garden bound, to full on misery. He’s taken umbrage and slumped sighing in front of the house in silent protest as we guilty step over him.

I am however more concerned about the cat who was terror stricken last night when he got his tongue stuck to the blanket he was compulsively licking.

Five things I’ve learnt about myself during these past 10 days:

  • I need outdoor space. Currently feel like a battery farmed chicken
  • I love my family but sometimes I don’t like them.
  • I thrive off routine and I’m a bit lost without a busy schedule and a deadline.
  • I could never, ever be a teacher. Or a nurse. Or actually anything that requires patience.
  • I usually like my own company but now I’m really irritating myself to the point where I sent myself to Coventry last night to stop the internal chatter.

Thursday 26 March 2020 – Day 12

Hello sunshine my old friend. 💥

Loving the fact we have had so much rain this Spring, but it is so nice to have light and warmth return. Alleviates the gloomy mood and means I can physically uproot the kids and push them outside for some garden chores, exercise and fresh air.

Been feeling horribly lethargic and unmotivated lately. Need a few days more if you please sunshine so I can attack my garden and feel useful and productive. Although having run out of bedding plants I think I will now have to resort to planting garlic cloves in desperation so I can be under the illusion of being somewhat self-sufficient and akin to an eco-goddess.
We’ll stink but we won’t starve Margo. Or get a cold. Or attacked by a vampire.

Meanwhile as kids moods fluctuate from lows to highs, I feel I am losing the ability to speak and form words coherently out loud. Daughter has started calling me ‘Karen’ and conversing in various accents and we lost an hour the other day talking in tongues. We are rocking this time management and productivity lark.

On that note, a big round of applause to Alison in Doncaster who’s winning at this distance learning approach and taught her 8 children to knit, sew, juggle, re-wire the house and change a set of spark plugs in the last 3 days. Oh and Sarah in Swindon who rustled up a Beef Stroganoff and a pavlova with pre-shopping day fridge contents. Big pat on the back to Deborah in Devon who has taught herself how to play Greensleeves on the oboe in under an hour . . . with her toes. And not forgetting Jilly in County Durham who’s knocked out 3 novels and a poem anthology. Bravo ladies.

I’m feel like I’m over-achieving if I shower and clean a shelf in my fridge.

Friday 27 March 2020 – Day 13

Spain Coronavirus cases: 64,000. Deaths: 4,858. Recovered: 9,35

So Boris and Charlie have Coronavirus symptoms. For all it’s flaws at least Covid-19 can’t be accused of bigotry or discrimination, unlike some of the bodies it latches on to. At least they have been tested and will now receive the best care and treatment. Unlike many others.

Numbers are rocketing here in Spain. And as it kills off the most vulnerable it makes you wonder about that old adage ‘Survival of the Fittest’. This is certainly a very effective way of wiping out those ‘draining’ the health and welfare systems. The world is a scary place right now. Maybe my little fortress is the best place to be.

Talking of four walls – the mood has lightened somewhat today within the Carter household as it’s Friday. No idea why just the concept of the weekend is enough to send the kids giddy. Meanwhile I’m eyeing up a bottle of wine in my CLEAN fridge (yes I finished the other shelves).

I went out for the weekly shop earlier. Get me. I’m on a roll. It’s all very civilised out there. Weird but civilised. Little jaunt around Mercadonuts and the fruteria and home again, home again, jiggity jig. Got stopped by the Guardia on my way through town just to check where I was going. They were grilling a young lad clearly out and about without a Get Out of Jail Free card. It’s like a Black Mirror episode. Glad to be home to be honest. Feels more normal behind closed doors. And that’s saying something.

Saw a forum discussion yesterday with an expat attacking a UK lady for basically saying “our lock down is better than yours”. Really? Is this what it boils down to? Good grief. Get indoors Pamela, go sanitise your hands and shut the fuck up. It’s not a contest.

Talking of contests. I was telling the kids, as I untangled son’s headphone cord for the 874th time this week, how as a child I recall our family having ‘untie a knot’ challenges (which if memory serves me correctly I excelled at) and we could recreate if they needed something to occupy the boredom.

Strangely I was suddenly left alone in peace and quiet with my cuppa. On that note a thank you to friends for my insightful tea bags and birthday mug which have both been used muchly. 

Saturday 28 March 2020 – Day 14

Spain Coronavirus cases: 72,248. Deaths: 5,690. Recovered: 12,285

So we are technically at the half -way mark. Although I do fear this could be extended to end April judging by the Scary Mary figures. That graph just keeps on heading upwards.

I remind myself. This is temporary. This should be fixable. There are refugees and homeless people who are trapped in an infinite nightmare scenario surviving in awful conditions. They have little hope of escaping or changing their situation.

How will this story end? God knows. This pandemic will dissipate. At some point. What it leaves behind might not be pleasant. Will this experience make a difference to our outlook in the future? Will we jump back on the treadmill as soon as the governments wave their green flags?
Most of us will probably head straight to the pub. Crowded venues will be so welcomed. We’ll enjoy being jostled and having beer sloshed onto our Converse or Nike trainers as someone nudges us on the way to the Gents. A night in is going to be ‘so last year’.

It’s certainly made me re-evaluate certain things. Talking to daughter this morning we discussed how her moods are so much nicer. The teen rants and rages have almost disappeared. We figure it’s because she’s not so tired or stressed. Less pressure. Her and son are even bonding in a way I never imagined possible. And I have photographic evidence to remind her.

Anyway before I drive myself insane, or rather more insane, thinking and worrying…I decided to make the most of a wet Saturday.
As I glance at the calendar this weekend should have been a super busy one. Hubby had 3 gigs, I would have been with son today for an Andalucian karate championship, which he’s so gutted at not being able to do, and we were also due to squeeze in a meet up with visiting friends over for the weekend.

Instead, after a 20 minute early morning session with Joe Wicks (for some reason on Day 4 he’s taken his t-shirt off… so Day 4 is on repeat), I’ve cleaned, I’ve cooked and I’m now waffling again on facebook (no apologies just scroll on by if I irritate).
Am I enjoying this slower, more relaxed pace? Yes actually. Do I want to sustain this pace? Hell no. I’d corrode and crumble.

Sunday 29 March 2020 – Day 15

Didn’t bother to re-set clocks before I went to bed as it really didn’t matter what time we would all wake. In our big cocoon, time has less significance than it used to have. Still I was up early-ish. What a beautiful day! Summer time has not begun as it says on the calendar. But it does however smell and sound like a proper Spring day today. Wellies on and hit the garden. Dragged everyone out with me, kicking and screaming, like vampires at dawn

The heavy machinery came out today. Hubby did some rotovating and then he got son involved with tackling the wood pile. Son + Chainsaw = Danger. With a capital D. Possibly not the best of ideas, as the last thing on my agenda, is a visit to A&E with child and mutilated limb.

So I retreated to the end of the garden and busied myself with some weeding and chilli seeds planting – all these seedlings to grow and then wither and die as I forget about them once normality is returned….sigh. We knocked up a Sunday lunch and I opened the wine. Tell I lie, I opened it last night.. So, *Edit* I finished the wine.

I also thought (as I consumed said wine) it would be good idea to get out a colouring book last night in an attempt to while away a wet afternoon in front of the fire. What was I thinking?. It’s on par with jigsaws as things I’m so not interested in doing. My mum, tried, and failed, to get me excited about jigsaws as a kid. She’d often slide a huge piece of hardboard out from under the sofa, littered with 3 zillion scary tiny pieces of what resembled 95 different shades of green. I got bored and frustrated once the corners were done and would leave her to it. And even a lockdown cannot convert me.

I do so wish I was one of those people who can sit calmly and draw, knit or paint. But alas I am not. My friend Lynn can devote hours sorting through beads or making pompoms. I can’t sit still long enough to get the wool out.

I can quite happily decorate a room or landscape a garden. Give me a big job, a task and I’m happy. Which is so not very practical at the moment. Anyway, colouring book has been cast aside. Sod that. And I made cheesecake instead. Because you can eat that.

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